15 September, 2009

Greetings from Doha!

Well, all I can say is, g'day! After a 14.5 hour long flight to Dubai of which I had a great sleep (woken up for dinner not long after departure, missed the mid flight snack, but had to be woken AGAIN for breakfast), and a very quick 45 minute flight from Dubai to Doha, I arrived remarkably fresh in a very hot Doha morning. Here is a short video of the arrival into Doha:

I got through Immigration (eventually) and I had a driver there waiting... You know those types who hold a board with your name on it! WOW!! Anyway, out to the carpark and into the Lexus and we were on our way to the hotel...

As it was so hot, and I had to prepare for a meeting, I quickly had a shower... However, times had changed and the meeting for today had changed to tomorrow (breakfast) so I had the afternoon to myself! So, I headed down for a swim in the pool. It was good, not as cool as I had thought, but with the temperature heading towwards 43c, it was nice. After a swin and a cool down, and even a quick 30 min sleep, I got ready and walked down to the Souk Waqif. But instead found myself walking down to the Corniche fo a quick look. I wished I had taken my long lens though:

Sunset Souk, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
Sunset Roadworks, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

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06 September, 2009

Struggling against the loneliness & depression...

Mood: Depressed/Lonely

Listening to (iPod): War of the Worlds

Today, Father's Day, was a really tough day for me... Don't get me wrong, please, it was a great day over at 'the next sister down', but it was the realisation of how things SHOULD have been...

Everything was going 'according to plan' for us, we had a great house, our dream house, that was slowly getting fixed up, finance's were/are in order and L was pregnant, twins even! Days like this, and many others (Mothers Day, Christmas, birthdays etc) were meant to be fun, family days. Where as today I found myself fighting all sorts of emotions of wanting to cry, scream jump up and down and a whole number of others as well... There was also times of laughter as well, but for the most part of the day, I was fighting anger as well. Certainly not at ANY of the family members I so dearly love, but for the circumstances that I am now in. And it was great catching up again with all of the kids and babies, they are just growing so quickly!

So when I left, I found myself driving, thinking, and before long I was at the Cemetery where they had laid fresh rolls of turf over L's grave. All I wanted to do was to race home, grab whats left of my 'Shirlys No. 17' fertiliser, and sprinkle it over and water it in. But, when I got home, I found myself regressing even further, so I jumped into bed and curled up and simply stared off into nothing... I am beginning think where I would be better off.

I am not really wanting to go to work, who have been and continue to be FANTASTIC in supporting me, I simply have lost the 'drive' to go. But I fight with myself every day to go all the same. Whilst I was away at the conference, I came to the realisation I was ready, and I WAS. But this last week of with chronic hayfever (which is now moving onto a chest infection with a very heavy cough that feels like Jasmine the cat is sitting on my chest) I was finding myself slipping slowly deeper into depression. I spent most days in bed, washing has piled up, dish's need to be washed (not that I have eaten much) but at least they are in the dishwasher.

I am in the final process of organising a trip to Doha, and I will be leaving next Sunday. I am still in a lot of ways, very confused about this, will I or wont I, as I am struggling with the notion of 'leaving' or 'abandoning' L. Whilst I know that she is and always will be with me, I just can't get past this step. I often wonder, is this a normal thing with grief and depression, and if so, does it last long?? I am also wondering if, is it all I need to just leave? I can take Leave Without Pay for a while, and simply do nothing, or is doing nothing not healthy for the mind? I simply do not know what to do anymore...

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31 August, 2009

Welcome to Spring... NOT!!

Today, marks the official, unofficial start to Spring, but for me, I just wish it to pack its bags, bongos and drums, and head back to where it came from! Yes people, I am a Hayfever sufferer, and I am in agony! Since I was in London, I have been sneezing and suffering from itchy eyes and a runny nose...

Saturday, saw me do more than a few kilometers with an early start out to Penrith Show, to see if a friends photo had won, as he had entered in a couple of divisions. He had won First Place in the 'Rural' division! After this, I headed to the nearby soccer fields, and caught up with my mum, sister and her family. Her youngest was playing in his soccer grand final, which they won 1-0. Do you think he is happy in this shot just after the whistle had blown?

Cam GF 29082009, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
Cam GF 29082009, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

Later in the day, I also went to the Swans v Brisbane Lions match with A,S and the boys, (thanks to my brother and a couple of mates of his from up the mountains!). It ended up being a good match, but (bare with me here and try not to get lost...) the second half of the first quarter, and the entire second quarter, were as boring as ... well, you know! BUT, both the third and last quarter were really exciting indeed!

SCG Members Stand, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
Centre Bounce, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
Alex Will Max & Sam, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

Sunday morning was here, and it was another early morning to an old neighbours place to have a look at his rear garden, with suggestions for them and their son, Lee. After a few hours there, I had to go as I was going to be running late for a very dear friend (of L's) who was doing a presentation for the Soi Dog Foundation. When I got there, Lynne was somewhat stressed for some reason, and she was so glad to see me there! As it turned out, the laptop she was using and the data projector were not 'talking' to each other... A simply reboot of laptop followed by Fn & F5 (shortcut for toggle between Laptop, Laptop & Screen or Screen only) and she had a smile and a very relieved lady indeed. I urge you to visit the Soi Dog Foundation, and if you can help in any way, I can assure you it will go to a very worthy cause...

Lynne Soi Dog Talk, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

But, in late breaking news, I would like to introduce little Jack Rupert... The youngest sister to L gave birth to a healthy little boy via a C-section at 8.30am. Is he cute or what?

Jack_Rupert_sleeping, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
Jack_Rupert, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
BP_& Jack_Rupert, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

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28 August, 2009

I had a great day...You?

Well, I had SUCH a great day today, and it all started on Wednesday night... Every week, I get an email from an Auction House with the Friday's Auction catalogue that LP was registered with. I had actually tried to 'unsubscribe' but in doing so, I guess that they did not want me to leave and I was then getting TWO emails! This week. there was a few of LP's favourite artists, so I thought well, I will go in and have a look, and ask them to take her email address OFF the database. So I went upstairs t the art collection were, and there was more than a few of her artists there! I took note of there catalogue numbers, and went downstairs to unsubscribe...

In the end, as it was starting when I was at work, I registered my lots, at off I went. !0.15, and my first lot... Rising... Rising... Ok, I'm in, against, more, against (one more) 1st... 2nd... 3rd and final call... I had won!

Design_for_a_Fan, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

This will need to have a little bit of restoration work and clean, but I think it will be a lovely addition to the collection of works we have. It is also the first piece of this particular artist, so I am happy to have it!

11.10, and my phone is ringing again, it's the auction house again saying that my next lot is a couple away. However, the news here is not good, as it's opening bid was already more than I was willing to go for! My last two lots and again the phone was ringing (and I am now getting very use to doing this)... One lot to go ahead of me, and a new auctioneer, and bang, its now my turn!

As the opening bid is getting lower and lower, we're off... up, up, up (I don't know why they didn't just start here in the first place) and I am in on about the 5th bid, two $50 bids later and the close of the hammer, "its yours, congratulations" the kind lass said.

In_a_Hurry, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

Your next lot is up, its a very large one, you know that right?" she asks somewhat confused... Starting price, whilst a little higher than I had thought, but it had suddenly stopped... And I had not even placed a bid! 1st... 2nd... 3rd and Final calllllll.... Hang on, I want this, so I placed my bid and with the other bidder done, I had just won my third (and last) lot of the day!

Lost_and_Found, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

Now here's the funny/strange thing... ALL three of the titles of these paintings, have a meaning to mean at the moment. AND, whats more, I only thought of it when I was talking to Dackle Princess on Skype! The first, "Design for a Fan" to me is that I am becoming a "FAN" of these Auctions lately, both these pieces and the fact that the pram we purchased sold this morning on eBay, so in essence, this piece was paid for! The second, "In a Hurry" is the fact that I am somewhat of an impatient person, and I want things to happen much faster than they are going. LP didn't think I had this trait, and thought I was somewhat of a 'laid-back' nature though! Third, and no means last, "Lost and Found" signifies that I am still somewhat 'Lost', and I am trying to 'Find' reasons to the cause...

So they are all very special pieces to me and I am very happy to have them. So yes, I have had a great day, what about you?

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27 August, 2009

Jack - the whippet who learned how to be a dog at last...

I found this story when I was last in London, and I bought the paper, London Evening Standard, home with me so as I could scan it and share it with you all...

It is a piece originally written by Brian Sewell about his little puppy, a Whippet, named Jack who had been so horridly ill-treated as a pup. Whilst this is a sad story, a very sad story, I also found it to be a lovely story where this puppy became a dog...

Jack - the whippet who learned how to be a dog at last

Brian Sewell 07.08.09

Jack, my little whippet bitch, is dead — words that embody an overwhelming weight of grief.

She was with me only for a short quinquennium, yet the gap she leaves is as large as any left by Mop and Nusch, Hecate and Schubert, Titian and a dozen others. She was a foundling: taken to the Mayhew Animal Home in a state of starvation so close to death that they thought she'd not survive, more than a month passed before she was released, still skeletal, still transparent, into my care.

An unresponsive fearful little creature into whose mind I could not penetrate, I named her Jack, thinking its short sharp clarity useful as a command for what should be a running dog. In affectionate fondling moments (of which there were many) I whispered “little one”, and to that too she eventually responded.

She was, I think, so damaged by experience that she had forgotten how to be a dog and did not run. Lord knows what cruelties she had endured in her first five years or so, and I am certain that she had never been part of any domestic society, human or canine. She did not respond to my other dogs. She was not house-trained. She could not master the mechanics of climbing stairs. She slept where she stood and would not spring onto my bed. She would not play with man or beast or toy. She did nothing that makes a companion of a dog.

Slowly, over the whole of the first year, she responded to the normalities of man-and-dog relationship — the hint of interest in my returning home, an increasing willingness to be touched and stroked, joining in the anticipation of a walk, dinner or a treat — and then, one day, I found her curled up on my bed, resting her head on the comfortable rump of Winck, who had always been motherly towards her.

It was the beginning of great change. She found her voice, a funny little smoker's bark, and joined the clamour at the door last thing at night when I let them into the garden to empty their bladders and see off marauding foxes. She responded to the bell and visitors. She discovered the delights of chocolate and nuts (neither of them good for dogs), of cheese and yoghurt, her demand for bananas quite insatiable. To my great pleasure she learned to break all the rules of etiquette, and nothing pleased me more than her standing with trembling forepaws on the table, shaking it, insistently demanding some titbit from my plate.

With those same paws she learned to pull the duvet from my shoulders in the middle of a winter's night, and it was then for me to learn that in bed no dog is more selfish than a whippet stretched full length with all four legs rigid in their push against my chest or back. When my bed was made she took to rolling on it, mad as a maenad, an ecstatic, stretching, wriggling wildness informing spine and limb, the back arching, head and neck thrashing from side to side, and then she'd haul the cover back and make a bird's nest of my pillows.

But still she did not run. Her chosen place was close at heel, and if occasionally she followed Nusch to the edge of the undergrowth, she was never out of sight and, overcome by caution, she'd suddenly scamper back. When Nusch and Winck raced for sticks or balls, Jack just stood still.

And then, one day in her third summer with me, she joined in, not racing them but asking for a stick of her own. I threw it and she ran — and ran, and ran — in ever-lengthening bounds and widening circles until out of breath. It was as though in discovering her ancient heritage and purpose as a running dog, some instinctive joy had been released and the game became our ritual.

But I feared for her fragility: when she stood against the light I could see the intricate structure of her frail and slender bones as clearly as in one of Leonardo's engineering studies, and I constantly imagined the calamity of collision with another dog. And then, last autumn, I had to fear no longer, for she simply would not run.

I became disconcertingly aware that Jack was slowing down, sleeping much more and needing to empty her bladder in the night. Her vet diagnosed problems with her heart and kidneys and opined that she had only months to go. In spite of pills administered in scrambled egg, her slow decline accelerated and evidence of cancer too became apparent.

I knew that soon the cancer would cause pain, knew what would have to be done to end it, but, remembering Nusch's scream as the needle went into her vein, I wanted to put Jack down myself and asked for lethal tablets. These do not exist, and if they do, they are not to be had by ordinary mortals.

I cannot understand why no lethal sedative is available to the loving master of a dying dog. I can think of no greater gesture of affection for any animal than to see that it has a comfortable death at the hands of those in whom it placed its trust.

I loved Jack, my little one. I wanted her to live with her small pleasures to the last moment free of pain, and then to let sleep in my arms gently turn to death. I wanted her death to be serene, without the alarm and commotion of strangers in the room, but it was not quite to be. Death came to her on my lap and in my arms, and free of pain I'm sure, but Jack was aware of strangers and disturbance, and our parting was not just for us, alone.

So the next time you see your puppy, your cat or your pets, look after them and treat them well... After all, they are Mans Best Friend!

Source: London Evening Standard Pg 12 7th August 2009 ------

25 August, 2009

Mid Life Crisis

Well, OK yes, I might be having a bit of a "mid-life-crisis", but to be honest, I have been thinking about a LOT since April... What will I do, how will I do it, where will I be in x years blah blah blah... So, in some way of trying to figure out all of this, I have figured I am just going to have to get away and clear my head more often. AND, flying away somewhere, albeit for research purposes sometimes, is getting a little expensive!

So, what am I to do? Well, I use to go camping a lot in a life a long time ago, so I thought I might just start going again. But, am not now getting a little to old to pitch a tent, the old back is also getting a little beyond sleeping on an airbed, so after a LOT of research, I have made a PURCHASE!

I am going to go away for a weekend out in the scrub for the October long weekend, and I simply can not wait...

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21 August, 2009

Plaque and photo...

Headstone, Plaque & Photo, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

Today, I had a call from the cemetery, to say that the plaque & photo were installed. I was so happy when I got to see them there, more than a tear came to my eye... One of sadness, but in so many way, I am proud to see just how she is going to be remembered. I think we have done a good job with it, and I hope that she likes what we have done as well...

This is my first time uploading AND sharing a video, I hope it works... It was taken with my Nokia 6110 Navigator Mobile Phone.

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19 August, 2009

Back at work, farewell & a busy time ahead!

This week, I am back at work after 4 months off... Both Monday & Tuesday were good (busy)days! However, after an email when I returned, today I was off to an old family friends funeral. It was such a lovely day for it, over on the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney in glorious sunlight. Hek, it was even rather warm! RIP to you my friend... God speed!

I am now going back to work 4 days a week as well, giving me an extra day at home to get things done, stuff that has really needed doing for a little bit, but now I have the time, ability and money to do them! Just yesterday, I booked the house in to be re-pointed. You know what that is right? You scrape out the mortar between the bricks and replace it with new, stronger mortar. It not only sounds like an absolutely HORRID job, but I think it is even noisy as well since a grinder will need to be used! So a dusty, noisy HUGE job, is too big for me, so I have contracted a guy to do it for me! Once that is done, I will then get the painters in, and they can paint the eaves, fascias and windows/doors in the colour scheme I am yet to choose (I have it down to two though!).

I am also looking at gaining my Pilot's licence. This is going to be very exciting for me as it is something I have always wanted to do! Only trouble was that other things took priority over the last couple of years...

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16 August, 2009

Happy 90th Birthday Nan!

Happy Birthday NAN!!!

Birthday Girl, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

Today, we celebrated Nan's 90th Birthday, with family at Centennial Park, at their Restaurant. It was going to be a lovely day, 28C in Winter, and it was!

Jamie & Riley, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
Rosie, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
Issac, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

All of the new babies were there, and of course the older ones too. Both Rod & Barb and myself were in from London through the week, and I was keen to find out about how they were feeling. We were in similar timed flight to Sydney through Singapore (different carriers though), and as I had not been feeling any affects of jet-lag I was waiting to see if it was the timing, or the flights themselves! They had little to no sleep throughout, so I suspect it was the flights themselves!

Nans 90th Cake, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.

By the time the cake came out, I was so full I would have exploded if I had any more! We had the choice of fish Travella, or the Slow cooked pork belly, spinach, caramelised apple, cider jus (which I had and it was FANTASTIC! Following the main, I had the Chocolate mocha tart, double cream, candied citrus, which was EVEN better, agree?

It was also time for another family photo, with a couple of notable people missing. Here's wishing you a very Happy Birthday, and I hope you had a great day...

90th NAN Bday, originally uploaded by AussiePomm.
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